Caroline and the New Beginning
by Crysania
Summary: After Caroline calls off her wedding to Randy, Richard disappears. It's up to Annie and Del to try to get them back together.


**A/N: This was written like a hundred years ago (ok 4 years ago) and I just rediscovered it. I literally left it about 2 paragraphs from an ending so I finished it and here it is! I know the fandom is basically dead, but hey...maybe someone will read this thing!**

* * *

><p>She was seated alone in the room. The shades were drawn, the lights turned down low. They had left her there some time ago, told her she could "recuperate" there while they handled things. <em>Things<em>. That was all that was left of it now. Just...things. As if it all mattered so little.

Running her hands down the folds of her dress, she sighed. Maybe it really did matter so little. She grabbed handfuls of the dress as she stood up and strode to the full length mirror. "I was beautiful," she murmured, reaching up to the veil and flowers in her hair, stroking lightly down the silken fabric that so gracefully draped her body.

Her life really did seem to be a series of such _things_. The aborted marriage to Del. The aborted relationship with Trevor. The aborted marriage to Richard, the man she was sure was her _sincere amore_ until they had parted ways in an airport and he had disappeared for months. And now, just one more aborted wedding, one more man left behind, one more time seeing the pain around her mother's eyes as her only daughter screwed up again. _I don't care _who_ you marry dear. Just marry _someone. Her mother was exasperated. Did she really expect any different?

"At least this time I actually _got_ to the wedding." She smiled into the mirror but even she couldn't convince herself that she found that statement humorous.

"Hello Miss Havisham."

Caroline whirled around at the sound of the voice in the doorway, memories of her first wedding rushing back to her unbidden. The dress moving with her was the only sound in the room. She opened her mouth to speak, tried to get some sort of words out. "You...What?...Richard..." Raising a hand to her eyes, she looked away.

The man standing hesitantly in the doorway stepped slightly further in, allowing the door to slide noiselessly shut behind him. His arms wound protectively around his middle as he stood slightly bent over. He was thinner than she remembered, the lines around his face a little deeper, the cheekbones more gaunt, the eyes more hollow. He said nothing. What could he say, really, that would somehow remedy this terrible situation?

"Where's your son?"

The silence had reigned too long, he knew. "Annie and Del said they'd watch him."

One of Caroline's eyebrows raised and she turned her head slightly in that oh so typical Caroline way. "Was that really a smart thing to do?"

Richard's mouth tilted up on one side in a slight grin. "I doubt it." He shook his head slightly. Annie and Del. He had only been gone for slightly more than six months and somehow Caroline's two closest friends seem to have found each other. It made sense, in a totally backwards screwed up weird sort of way. They were both looking for exactly what the other was offering.

"Richard..."

"Caroline..."

They spoke at once, their names tumbling from the other's lips.

Caroline squeezed her eyes shut, her face scrunching up.

Richard took a deep breath. "God I had no idea this would be so awkward." He ran his hand through his hair.

"You didn't?" She was looking at him now, head cocked slightly to the side. "You really didn't expect this to be awkward? You showed up to my _wedding_, Richard. After abandoning me. You showed up with your _child_, Richard. After telling me you didn't want children."

"Wait a second, wait a second," he interrupted, rushing forward to lightly grasp her shoulders. "I didn't abandon you. You walked away, Caroline, or did you forget that? You left _me_ at the airport to fly to Italy alone. To see my son alone. To face _Julia_ alone. I thought you were through with me. I thought I had lost you for good." He let go of her suddenly and turned away, retreating even further into his own shadows.

Caroline could almost see them bunch up around him, encircling him. For a mere moment, his posture had been open, welcoming. Now the world seemed to come down hard on his shoulders. "Richard...you didn't come back." It was really as simple as that. When he didn't come back, she was forced to make a decision: Continue to wallow in misery or try to move on. With everyone urging her to forget Richard, she had strived to do just that.

He looked up at her and his eyes looked tired. It was the first time she could honestly say she had seen that bleak look in his eyes. Oh, Richard tended to look bleak. She couldn't deny that. But somewhere, deep in his eyes, there was a light, a small spark, something that kept him going. But now it was so dim she could barely see it anymore.

"You're right."

She had to strain to hear his voice. "Richard?"

"You're right Caroline." He spoke with more conviction this time. "I didn't." He turned quickly, his coat fanning out around him and strode to the door. His hand was on the knob when Caroline spoke again.

"I called off the wedding." She didn't know what else to say. He was leaving. Again. And her heart, so fragile after all the recent beatings, was breaking into a million tiny shards that she couldn't hold together no matter how hard she tried.

Richard looked back at her over his shoulder, barely turning toward her, his eyes meeting hers for only a moment. That same sad, gentle smile graced his face. "I know. Everyone's gone."

And then he was through the door, walking out of her life again. She rushed to the door after him, stopping it from closing and staring after him as he carefully took his son out of Annie's arms and continued on his way.

"Richard, aren't we going to talk about this?" Her voice broke on the last word.

The word that was tossed back at her, with hardly a jerk of his head was harsh. Just one syllable, it resounded in the lobby of the chapel and echoed all around her. She imagined that everyone in the entire world could hear Richard as he strode away and spoke that one final word to her.

"No."

* * *

><p>"She's been in there for <em>days<em>, Del." Annie turned to look Del. The two were standing in the hallway between Annie's apartment and Caroline's, pacing back and forth as they tried to sort out what to do.

"What happened with Richard again?" Del asked.

Annie rolled her eyes. "Del, he just _left_. That was it. He wasn't in the room with her for more than five minutes before he came storming out, took Stefano and disappeared." Del had missed the final moments, but Annie would never forget the way Caroline looked standing in that doorway. She had never really considered Caroline a fragile woman before. She had taken several beatings from life: the multiple break-ups, the parents who wanted her married and with children and often harped on it until Caroline came to Annie and sobbed on her shoulder, the brother who always one-upped her in such an artless way that no one could believe it was done on purpose. But this time, Caroline looked small, like a waif who had been cast about on the waves for far too long.

She had helped Caroline out of her wedding dress, helped her pack it up, and then she and Del had driven her back to her apartment where she threw them both out and locked the door behind them. No one had been inside since then except Tim, the Chinese food delivery boy.

It wasn't for lack of trying, of course. Annie had knocked several times. She had even tried her key once only to be stopped by the deadbolt. She hadn't even known Caroline was aware of that deadbolt. She couldn't recall her using it once in the past six years she had known her. A small part of her Midwestern upbringing still remained. She just couldn't lock people out of her life _or_ her apartment.

Until now.

Phone calls went unanswered, notes shoved under the door were either ignored or thrown out. Annie and Del couldn't get through to her. And Richard? He was nowhere to be found since the whole fiasco happened.

"No luck finding him?" Annie turned to Del.

He shook his head sadly. While Annie had been trying to get in to talk to Caroline, Del had been sent on a fool's errand to find Richard. Using his considerable charm he had discovered that the cynical artist had not left New York via plane, train or bus, but he hadn't been able to find out if he had rented a place, was staying at a hotel, or had rented a car to leave town. "He's here somewhere Annie. I know it. He wouldn't abandon her..."

Annie just raised an eyebrow. "I don't know _what_ Richie would do anymore. It's like he's a stranger."

"Richard has always been kind of strange." Del spoke without thinking, a common enough thing for him. Annie reached out and punched him hard in the arm, also without thinking. "Ouch! What did you do _that_ for?"

Annie was saved answering a question she considered somewhat rhetorical by the door to Caroline's apartment suddenly swinging open.

"Annie, Del. It's been far too long! How _are_ you guys? Why don't you ever come to visit?" She swung past them, a bright smile plastered to her face. Her was hair pulled gracefully away from her face, just a few tendrils framing it. Her make-up was done, her dress short but not too short, tight but not too tight. She clutched an umbrella in one hand and used that to push the pair out of the way as she continued down the hallway.

They rushed to catch up to her. Annie grabbed her arm and swung her back around toward her. "Caroline, what are you doing?"

"I'm going out. Why? What does it look like I'm doing?" Shaking her head, she pulled her arm out of Annie's grasp and continued on, Annie and Del right behind her.

"Alone?" This time it was Del's turn to stop her headlong flight down the hallway.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

Annie and Del spoke at the same time.

"Yes..."

"No..."

Caroline smiled, though it easy to see that the smile didn't reach her eyes. _She's putting on a good front_, Annie thought. _She wants us to see her as strong, as getting over this nightmare_.

"Sweetie, I'm worried about you. Why don't we hang out tonight at my place. Just the girls?" She patted Caroline reassuringly on the back and tried to turn her back around.

"No, Annie, I don't think so. I'm going to see a movie." She tore her arm once more out of Del's grasp, turned, and walked away.

Del moved to follow her and Annie reached out a gentle hand to his arm. "Easy big boy. She doesn't want us there." This wasn't the first time Annie had seen Caroline hide her pain in something like this. Maybe a movie was exactly what she needed, some silly comedy to lighten her spirits.

"What are we gonna do then?" Del glanced at Annie and she nearly hit him again as she noted the appreciative look on his face, the eyes that said he had some ideas on what to do, none of which involved Caroline, Richard, or any movie...

Well, maybe _some_ sort of movie.

"We follow her, Del."

"What?" He looked disappointed.

"We _follow_ her, Del. I just want to make sure she's ok. I mean, what if she's not really going to a movie? What if she's contemplating something..."

"Something?" He scratched his head.

"I don't know, Del. But I'm following her. Come if you wish." She walked off down the hallway and headed down the stairs and out the door. Del was close at her heels. Annie looked up at him as they paused outside the door to see which direction Caroline had turned in. "Thank you."

And then they were off, weaving in and out of the people on the sidewalk, always trying to keep Caroline in sight. That wasn't an easy task. Caroline was short; Del and Annie only of average height. They both tried not to think about it, but both knew that having Richard there would have made it much easier. He was taller than Del by a few inches.

"Oh God, Del, we're gonna lose her," Annie whispered to him as they moved quickly through the crowd, trying to be inconspicuous but still fast.

"No...wait...she went that way!" Del nearly shouted.

"Shhhhh!" Annie followed him to the right and noted with surprise that the movie theatre she expected Caroline to head toward was indeed _not_ in this direction. "Del, where on earth is she going?"

"To the movies Annie...duh..." He rolled his eyes.

"The movie theatre is _that_ way." Annie hooked a thumb over her shoulder and Del obediently looked backward, nearly running into someone as he continued forward.

"Oh. Yeah. It is."

Caroline rounded one more corner, Annie and Del hanging back by some hundred feet or so, and then she stopped.

"Wow I didn't even know this was _here_," Annie whispered. Caroline had stopped in front another movie theatre. It was in an out of the way place, just a small theatre that proudly advertised foreign, independent, and art films. The pair watched as Caroline purchased a ticket and slipped inside.

"_Till glädje_," Annie read off the poster outside the theatre. "Look at this. 'Stig, a visiting soloist to a small Swedish orchestra, marries fellow musician Martha, but the inner torment and sense of failure in Stig leads to an extra-marital affair and a tragic ending.' Wow, Del, this sounds like something _Richard_ would enjoy. It's foreign _and_ depressing."

He nodded. "It sounds _awful_."

"I know." She paused as she took in enormity of what she was seeing. "Do you think she's meeting him here?"

Del's eyebrows shot up. "I _told_ you he was still here somewhere!"

The two ducked into an alcove to wait and see if Richard showed up. It was really the only thing that made sense. The other possibility was unthinkable.

* * *

><p>Caroline made a quick glance around the theatre before settling in a seat far in the back. From there, she could see all who entered. It wasn't her first time in this theatre. She and Richard had gone there some time ago, when he tried to introduce her to some of the dark, depressing foreign films he enjoyed. She had hated the movie, left feeling as if her entire world had closed in on her, but he had come out feeling exhilarated. Well, maybe <em>exhilarated<em> wasn't the right word. But he had certainly enjoyed the movie and all it stood for her.

_"Richard, do you really think life is like that? Meaningless?" Caroline had turned to look up at him, her eyes wide, her vision blurred with unshed tears._

_Richard had sighed, glancing down at her for a moment. __Was__ that how he saw life? It certainly had been for most of his 34 years. But now? Now that he had his __sincere amore__? Now that he had found someone who loved him for who he was without wishing to change his black-clothed exterior or the dark heart that lurked within? "No...Caroline..."_

_"You really do, don't you?" She turned away from him and gripped his hand suddenly. "Is what we have meaningless?"_

_"No no no...Caroline look at me." She turned her face up to him and he kissed her lightly on the nose. "My life has found new meaning. You of all people should know that. Just look at my recent paintings." He noted that the crease between her eyebrows, often one of the only signs of her worry, was still there. He smoothed it out with the tip of one finger and smiled at her. "Do you really trust me so little?"_

She hadn't. She had trusted him with her heart and her soul, with everything she was. And then one day, he simply walked out. They had always known they were so very different, but Caroline had felt they were the opposing sides of the same coin, melded together for all eternity despite their differences.

But Richard? When they hit a snag, a major one no doubt, he had left. He hadn't returned for over six months and by that time she had moved on.

_Moved on? _She was sitting in a dim movie theatre, a place Richard loved, without Randy. She had left Randy at the altar without another word. The letter she had written to him was still sitting in her apartment unsent. She knew that he knew it was over. There was no doubt of that. But still, she should have the maturity to tell him and not leave him hanging.

She watched each person enter the theatre, not sure exactly what she was hoping for. She knew she needed to see Richard, at least one last time. For a week she had mulled over her thoughts, going over and over them, trying to figure out where her heart lay.

She still didn't know.

She still wasn't sure what she wanted. Not from Richard. Not even from herself anymore. Her world had come crashing down six months ago when he had left her. Annie and Del had done their best to cheer her up, to force her into moving on, and for them she put on a good show.

_A good show? Is that all it was?_ Surely it must have been more. She had almost married the guy. Would she have if Richard hadn't shown up when he did? If Stefano hadn't begun to cry and drawn everyone's eyes to where Richard stood with his son in his arms?

_No_.

The word came into her mind unbidden. She sat up straighter in her seat as the movie began. No previews for this one. No, she would not have married Randy. Even before Richard had shown up she knew she was doing the wrong thing, rushing into something she felt was a mistake.

_A mistake?_

Wasn't Randy what she had always dreamed of? Well, not Randy specifically, but what he offered her: a marriage, a house, kids, the white picket fence and all, a little home in a small town in Wisconsin, living near her parents.

_A little loft in New York, a partner's desk from which she could watch him on the other side, passion, love, art, opera, freedom..._

The images flashed through her mind.

She didn't know what she wanted anymore. Her whole life had been about obtaining the perfect marriage with the perfect guy with the perfect kids in the perfect house. Her parents had been talking of that practically since she hit puberty. It was so ingrained into her psyche that she was sure it was a part of her.

_But is it, really? Is that really who you are?_ Would she have moved to New York City and become a cartoonist if all she really wanted to be was a wife and mother?

Bright lights flooded the theatre and she blinked in the sudden glare, only then realizing the movie had somehow come to an end. It hadn't been terribly long, but somehow being stuck in her own mind made the time fly by. She had barely seen a moment of the movie, only had a feeling of overwhelming sadness after seeing it.

_The movie or you?_

As she stood, she took one last glance around the theatre. She wasn't sure what she had expected to find there, though somewhere deep in the back of her mind she was well aware of who frequented this theatre. Seeing no sign of anyone she knew, she moved quickly out onto the sidewalk, thrusting her umbrella up into the air to prevent the heavy rains from coming down on her.

She never saw the two figures moving through the rain with her, mirroring her steps, holding back and watching her with keen, worried eyes.

* * *

><p>He had dumped his bags on the floor of the entranceway hours ago. They still sat there, just two wet lumps thrown carelessly aside. Unpacking was out of the question. He couldn't stand the thought of moving, of putting clothing in a dresser. It meant he was here to stay for some time. And was he? Was he really?<p>

He didn't know anymore. After seeing Caroline at the wedding, after talking to her only for a mere moment, he had fled the church. Fabriana had agreed to take Stefano for the time being and luckily the Mazzone money covered her stay in a very nice hotel and her time out on the town with her young charge. She was looking at it like it was a vacation, though he noted with some chagrin that her eyes turned sad every time she looked at him.

_"Signor Ricardo? I know it's not my place but..."_

_"You're right. It's not." His voice had been snappish as he turned away from her. He had reached the door and put his hand on it before she spoke again. He paused at the sound of her voice._

_"Ricardo, go after her. Don't throw away your love for her..."_

_He slammed the door behind him, stopping to lean briefly against the wall, that awful ache in the pit of his stomach causing him to double over. _

That ache had been there for months. Sometimes worse, sometimes almost gone, but an ever-present part of his life. At first he had blamed it on jet lag. Then the rich Italian food. But it had persisted, causing him much frustration and anxiety. He had seen at least three different doctors about it and not one could come up with a medical reason for its persistence.

When he had walked into Caroline's wedding, when her eyes had met his and she had stepped away from the man she was going to marry to face the man she _should_ have married, the ache had become the worst it had ever been.

The reality was that the ache was because he had lost a part of himself. The light had fled and he was left alone, floundering in the dark. He had been there, once before, after Julia had left him that first time so many years ago. But it had never been like this. That had been all mental anguish. This had extended far beyond that. This time the problem had turned physical.

_Go after her..._

He hadn't. Instead he had fled the area, renting a car and driving north until his eyes were fuzzy from exhaustion and the road in front of him began to blur dangerously. The hotel he spent the first night in was a bit of a dive, but the bed, lumpy though it was, felt wonderful beneath his tired body. He had awakened several times throughout the night, finding himself twisted in the sheets, hands thrown out to either side, eyes squeezed shut in pain. The ever present ache deep inside him was gnawing at his gut, like something was trying to devour him from the inside out.

Two days later he had somehow ended up here. The little cabin in the Adirondacks had been the perfect place to recuperate.

_Recuperate? Hide might be the better term._ He had run away countless times before. What was one more, really?

On day two of his headlong flight away from Caroline and the city he had called home for so much of his life, he had stopped at a small internet café. He desperately needed to find some place, some safe haven where he could flee to. Staying at seedy motels was not an option. He had the money for something a little bit better and he planned to use it. In his search he had found a listing for a cabin to rent by the week. It was a bit pricier than staying in a decent hotel, but he found he liked the idea of staying someplace far away from the rest of humanity.

It took him another day to reach the cabin and by the time he got there, exhausted and still jetlagged, he had simply collapsed.

He had spent the three hours since his arrival sitting in the same chair, staring at a nearly blank wall, his thoughts in disarray, his emotions in turmoil. He couldn't go back. He couldn't go forward. He was stuck, as truly mired in this muck of his own creation as any man stuck in quicksand. Caroline had wanted to talk. But he didn't know what to say.

_She was going to get married_. Married. To someone else. After all they had been through, after the years of anxiety over who felt what and when, over their fledgling relationship that never seemed to get quite off the ground. After so much pain and anguish and love and friendship, she was just going to move on and marry someone else.

Someone who had come between them at the last moment and wreaked havoc in their fragile bond.

_She was never right for you, Richard_. That was the reality of it, the thought that continuously plagued his mind, even after they finally managed to confess their love for each other.

_Is it worth it?_

She had asked that question, not so long ago. He had been sure it was. But now? Now that they were apart. Caroline still in New York City, no doubt trying to put her life back together yet again. Richard holed up in the woods of the Adirondacks, so out of touch with everything around him. Now was it worth it? Was all the hurt they had gone through worth it when they couldn't even make it last?

He no longer had an answer to that question.

* * *

><p>A sad smile graced Caroline's face when she reentered her apartment. Annie stood slowly, rising gracefully from the couch as soon as the key had entered the door.<p>

"Annie?" Caroline asked, seeing her form in the dim moonlight coming through the window. "No please, don't." Caroline spoke quickly upon seeing Annie reach for the lamp on the table nearest her. Annie's hand hesitated, stopping mid-move and freezing for a moment before falling back to her side.

"Sweetie?"

"He wasn't there, Annie." Caroline's voice trembled as she spoke. Annie watched her walk across the room and wasn't surprised to see her sit down at Richard's side of the desk. She wondered how many hours she had spent sitting in that very seat while locked in her apartment during the week she would see no one.

"You went there looking for Richard." She had meant the words to come out as a question, but they didn't. Once she had read the placard for the movie, once she had realized what the movie was about and what theatre Caroline had been heading for, she knew.

Caroline nodded in the darkness, not even sure if Annie could see her. _She doesn't need any verification_. Annie had been her best friend for years now, nearly ten if she wanted to be totally honest with her. She had been there through the early trials with trying to get her comic strip off the ground. She had been there when she had gotten her first national syndication. She had been there for every single up and down in Caroline's life since moving to the big city.

"Talk to me sweetie. You know I'm here for you." Annie moved to face Caroline across the partner's desk.

"I don't want to talk, Annie. I'm tired of talking. Talking never seems to get me anywhere." She felt Annie's arms come around her in a tight hug. "Just go, Annie. I need to be alone. Go back to Del. I know he must be wondering where you are."

"How did you..."

Caroline smiled. Her life might have been falling apart these past several months, but she wasn't completely closed off from the world around her. Annie had tried to hide it from her. Del had tried to hint around about it, probably trying to gauge her reaction. But Caroline knew. "I've known you both for a long time. Now go, get back to Del. I'll be fine."

"Well, I'll be right across the hall if you need me." She slipped out the door, shutting it quietly behind her.

"I won't," Caroline whispered to the silent air around her.

* * *

><p>The knock came some six days later. Richard had been trying to paint, the brush held loosely in his hands as he stared at the nearly blank canvas. All he had managed so far was one blood red X. The canvas that held it still graced the easel, the jagged lines taunting him with their anger. So much hate, so much rage. But more than that. It spoke of desolation and a self-hatred that was tearing his soul into pieces.<p>

The knock, quiet in the morning air, startled him into dropping the paintbrush. It hit the floor with a quiet thud and rolled away from him, leaving a scar of blood red on the hardwood floor. He'd have to pay for that one. He was sure of it.

For once this surprise wasn't an unwelcome one. Richard had never been the most social person. Okay, if he were to be honest with himself, he wasn't even remotely social. His therapist had often despaired at his anti-social behavior and had, more than once, recommended he try to get out and meet people. He had, finally, and look what that had done? He fell in love and his whole life blew up in his face.

The knock came again and Richard rose slowly to the door. His body ached from the hours of sitting motionless in a hard wooden chair. As he opened the door, he blinked against the sudden light. He hadn't quite realized how dim it was in the cabin.

The man who stood on the doorstep wasn't someone he recognized and with the glare of the sun behind him, he could only vaguely make out his form: short, a little paunchy, dressed in some sort of dark ensemble. "Can I help you?" he managed to get out after a moment, his voice scratchy from disuse. He raised a hand to his eyes in an attempt to block out the sun.

"Mr. Karinsky?" The man's voice was deep, almost authoritarian in sound.

"Yes, can I help you with something?" His voice was starting to show his usual annoyance with disturbances. It was something he had been trying to keep in check ever since he fell in love with Caroline. Tears would show in the corners of her eyes and her voice would tremble when he'd snap at her. It wasn't that he meant to. It just came out. Years of practice, you see. That nasty anti-social behavior his therapist was always on him about.

"May I come in?" Richard sighed and stepped back from the door, back into the dimness of the interior of the cabin he had come to call home in the past couple weeks. He motioned with his hand to the other man to enter and shut the door behind him as he did.

The man stepped past him and stopped as he spied the easel with his horrible excuse for a painting scrawled on it. "Wow," the man muttered as he stared at it.

Richard rushed to cover it up, grabbing the tarp that was stretched out across the ground beneath it. "It's not finished. I...I'm sorry. I've been careful to not get any on the floor." He gingerly stepped a few feet away from the man and tried to nonchalantly place himself over the red splatter his paintbrush had recently made on the floor.

"Mr. Karinsky, I'm not your landlord." The man chuckled slightly and Richard finally turned to actually look at him. The dark outfit he was wearing wasn't a suit. It was a uniform.

"Officer, I'm so sorry. What's going on? Is Caroline okay? Stefano? Please tell me this isn't about Annie or Del..." A policeman? Here? Why?

"That's really quite powerful," the officer said instead of answering Richard's question. In his rush to cover the stain on the floor and his worry over finding a police officer in his cabin, he hadn't noticed the officer removing the tarp from his painting.

"Oh that? Really? You like it?" He moved closer to the painting, studying the officer's face.

"Well, I didn't say that exactly." The officer chuckled as he spoke. "There's just so much anger in it. Those lines are so jagged. I also see..." He paused, raising one hand to his chin in contemplation. "Despair? Is that why you ran away?"

"What are you? My shrink?" Richard ran a hand through his hair. This whole exchange wasn't making much sense to him. There was a huge part of the picture he was missing. "No offense Officer..."

"Wilson."

"No offense, Officer Wilson, but why on earth are you here? Surely it's not to study my unfinished painting and psychoanalyze me. And I did _not_ run away."

"Sorry, Mr. Karinsky. We had a missing persons report and..."

"A what?" Missing? Someone actually went to the cops and reported him as missing? No one missed him. Hell, no one would _care_ enough to report him as missing. His nanny knew he would be gone for some time and had happily accepted the care of Stefano for the next month or so. He had, admittedly, walked out on Caroline again, but it was pretty clear she didn't want him around. She _was_ planning on getting married after all. And Annie? She was probably thankful he had hightailed it out of there and no doubt would strangle him if she saw him again. In his flight away from all that scared and unnerved him, he had left Annie to pick up the pieces yet again.

"A missing person's report," Wilson repeated, looking down at the paperwork he had been holding in his hand.

"But who would file that? I'm not missing."

"It looks like it was filed by a Del Cassidy. He indicated that you left New York on October 12. He also indicated that you left town with an infant." Officer Wilson craned his neck to see around Richard's thin frame. "Is the child here?"

"Stefano? No. I left him back in New York." Richard held up a hand to stop whatever Wilson was going to say next. "With his nanny. I can assure you he's being taken very good care of. My ex-wife's money has made sure of that," he said with a rueful grin.

Wilson jotted down some notes on the paperwork he was holding. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you, sir." His face screwed up in a sort of grimace. "Can I inform Mr. Cassidy of your whereabouts?"

"If you must," Richard waved a dismissive hand at the officer.

Wilson opened the door and stepped back out into the piercing autumn sunshine. "Keep up the good work with the painting, Richard." And then he was gone, back into his car and down the dirt road leading away from the cabin. Richard heard the crunch of his tires for some five minutes after his car disappeared around the corner.

Finally, when he could hear no more, he retreated into the cabin, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Missing person?" he muttered as he bent to inspect the damage his paintbrush had done to the floor.

* * *

><p>"I found him," Del announced as he shoved the door to Annie's apartment open with his foot. In his arms he balanced a 6-pack of beer and a pizza. "Time to celebrate!"<p>

The door hit something not far beyond it and unceremoniously swung back, colliding noisily with Del's hands. He shouted curse words as he tried to retain hold of the pizza.

Annie flung open the door and rescued him. "Found _who_?" she asked, one eyebrow raised. Her head jerked back oddly and Del squinted at her.

"Richard..._duh_." He dropped the beer on the counter and turned around, finally realizing what Annie had been trying to indicate with her strange body language. "Oh...Caroline...hi."

Caroline stood, the darkness in the corner she had hidden herself in draped around her like a cloak. Her eyes were red and adorned by dark circles, but she was calm as she faced him. "You found Richard?" Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke.

Del glanced at Annie and she waved an arm at him, giving him the go-ahead. "I did, yes." He stood a little taller, a little prouder. He hadn't thought it would work, but Caroline was so upset and Annie so frantic to find Caroline's dour former colorist, that he had gone to great lengths to figure out where he had holed himself up.

"And..." Caroline was staring at him, her eyes intense. Del hadn't been paying attention much these past months, but Caroline had lost a significant amount of weight. The skin was stretched tight over prominent cheekbones, her chin coming to more of a point than it had before. People had always described her as elfin and it seemed to fit now more than ever.

"Oh, sorry. He's...um...living at a cabin on Lake Vanare."

"Lake what?" Annie exclaimed.

"A cabin?" Caroline said at the same time. She couldn't imagine Richard living in a rustic cabin, far away from the city he loved.

"That's what the cops told me!" Del threw his hands up in frustration. He found Richard. He knew where he was. Well, he knew approximately where he was. He had been given the name of the Lake and the cabin number, which he had recently rented.

"Cops?" Caroline whispered. "Oh my God, what did he do?"

"More like what did _Del_ do?" Annie responded with, pushing hard at Del's shoulder.

"You told me to find him 'at all costs,' Annie. At all costs to me meant do whatever necessary. And I did." He crossed his arms over his chest in a pout, raising his head and turning slightly away from the two incredulous women.

"Del." Annie's voice held a note of warning Caroline hadn't heard from her much. She was at the end of her rope. Somehow Caroline knew this. Annie had always been stable, sure of herself, but these past few months Caroline had noticed she was seeming frayed about the edges. Between Caroline's and Richard's split, the whole crazy thing with hiding her relationship with Del, and now this most recent disaster, she had been pulled in so many different directions. It was ultimately unfair to the normally carefree dancer.

Standing, Caroline touched one hand lightly to Annie's arm. "Del?" Her voice was soft, questioning, not the angry and patronizing tone of Annie's.

"Ok, well, you know how Annie said 'find him at all costs'? Right? Well, I went to the police two days ago and filed a missing persons report."

"You filed a _what_?" Annie exploded with.

"I think it was a good idea," Caroline said quietly. Her face was thoughtful, a small bit of humor showing behind the creased eyes.

"Really?" Del actually had the good graces to sound surprised.

"Well. Yeah. I do. I mean, it found him, didn't it?" _It found him_. They knew where Richard was, where he had disappeared to, after his brief appearance at her disastrous non-wedding. She hadn't been sure she wanted to know. She hadn't been sure she ever wanted to face him again. He had run out of her life so many times. Paris, Italy, and now a cabin in the middle of nowhere. She supposed she should just be thanking God that he hadn't fled to a foreign country this time around. The Adirondacks were a heck of a lot closer than Siberia.

Richard always ran when he didn't want to face things. Mostly, she realized, he ran when he didn't want to face _her_ and his own emotional turmoil. She wondered if he had always been like this, so afraid to confront his emotions, to admit how much he loved someone, so afraid to _be loved_.

That was it.

_My God_.

She had known it, somewhere deep down inside her. Richard wasn't afraid of rejection. He had had enough of that, both personally and professionally, to be used to it. He was afraid of someone loving him, of someone caring for him, of someone always being there for him. It was why he had constantly pushed her away after they finally admitted their feelings, why his warmth had so often been withdrawn just when she thought it was safe to be affectionate with him.

"I did find him, didn't I?" Del sounded proud of himself.

"And now we need to go after him," Caroline said, the conviction strong in her voice.

"Are you sure?" Annie asked, reaching out one hand to touch Caroline lightly on the shoulder.

Caroline straightened up, shrugging Annie's concern off. "Yes. Yes I'm sure." Her body seemed collapsed after drawing up that last bit of strength. "But will you guys come with me?"

* * *

><p>The drive up was long and complicated, as it so often was when it came to something Caroline was involved in. The group couldn't fit in Del's Porsche and so Caroline and rushed off and rented a car that everyone could squeeze comfortably into.<p>

"This car is _huge_," Del had said upon seeing the boxy Station Wagon Caroline pulled up to the curb in. "And ugly. I can't be seen in this."

Annie had sneered at him. "Then lay on the floor of the trunk. I don't care. You're coming with us." She had pulled him by the ear and Del had consented, choosing to sit in the back seat alone, hoping none of his friends had seen them as they headed out of the city. He didn't breathe a sigh of relief until they were over the bridges and onto the Thruway headed north.

Caroline didn't say much of anything on the way up. She only stopped when someone suggested they stop for a meal or a drink or to hit the bathrooms. She didn't drink anything as she normally would have on such a long trip.

"Caroline, honey, you need to eat something," Annie had said at one rest area. "You don't want to collapse in hunger when you see him."

Her eyes haunted, Caroline had just looked at her and softly said, "I can't eat Annie. I'm nauseous."

This was it for her. The last time. She couldn't face Richard again if this ended poorly. They had been through _so much_ together. Three years of ups and downs that went higher and lower than she ever could have believed. With Richard, nothing was simple. Her life had become a roller coaster of emotions. It had to stabilize and this was the last chance for it.

She and Richard made this work.

Or they didn't.

There was no in between anymore. There was no backing away from their feelings. She loved him. She had for so long that she couldn't remember _not_ loving him. What had that been like? Surely it had been empty. Her life had been missing something until the cynical artist first set foot in her apartment. She had somehow known, right then and there, that he would change her, that the lines he drew on her heart would forever alter her perception of the world.

They arrived in Lake Vanare late in the evening. As much as Caroline wanted to rush right off to find Richard, the entire group agreed that was something better left for the morning, when she was fresh and awake and knew what she wanted to say to him.

_Know what I want to say? I don't think I'd know even if I thought about it for the next five years._

* * *

><p>Caroline stood poised on the porch of the cabin, one hand raised as if to knock. The manager of the motel they were staying at had drawn careful directions on a piece of paper for them. There were a ring of cabins around a drive with an inner pathway called the "Psycho Path." The trio had chuckled at that. Leave it to Richard to stay in a place that was obviously owned by someone with such a dark sense of humor.<p>

Annie had taken over the wheel of the car for the short trip to Richard's cabin. Caroline couldn't even contemplate driving. The thought made her even more nauseous than she was to begin with. Her thoughts had been scattered, her mind reaching to places she couldn't quite see. She had no idea what she would say, no idea what to do. Something had to be done, something had to change, something had to be resolved, but she really wasn't sure _what_ exactly, nor how to go about it.

Caroline was a planner, but for once she had no plan. And so Annie and Del had dropped her off at the cabin and left. They just...left. She understood. She had wanted them to leave. And yet she hadn't.

She had to face him alone.

Steeling herself against the onslaught of emotions this one tiny action would be likely to bring about, she knocked. The first knock was hesitant, quiet, likely not heard even in the quiet of the cabin area. The second one was louder, more insistent. The third was louder still. Her emotions frayed around the edges, Caroline pulled her arms tight around her middle. There was no response from inside the cabin. Not even a shifting of feet or the creaking of a floor board alerted her to the presence of anyone in the cabin.

_Maybe he left..._

With a sense of relief she was surprised at, Caroline turned to walk away. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was _her_ turn to walk away, to put distance between them, to end it all.

She had only take two steps off the porch when she heard the door behind her fly open, banging against the outside of the cabin. "I_ told _you, Officer, I am _not_ missing."

Her eyes closed for a moment before turning to face him.

"Caroline," he whispered. Her name had always sounded reverent on his lips, as he was uttering a prayer whenever he spoke it. Odd, she had never really realized that before. That sort of hint was always there, hidden somewhere deep within his voice. Caroline never listened, though. The world was a visual place to the cartoonist, and so the nuances of vocal inflection often went past her as she was studying the crinkle of his eyes, the way his hand moved when he gestured emphatically, the way his eyes often shifted away from hers.

He had shifted his eyes away from her yet again. "You left," she finally managed to say.

"What else could I do?" he asked and there was a darkness in his voice, an edge of bitterness.

"You could have stayed."

And there was the crux of the problem, _their _problem. Whenever things got too much for Richard, he fled.

"You were getting _married_."

"I called it off. And then you disappeared."

He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose. "_Caroline_." The word was a warning, but she wasn't going to take that. She wasn't going to walk away. They had walked away from each other so many times. She almost got married _twice_ and both times there was Richard, somewhere in the back of her mind, always waiting for her.

"Do you love me?" she finally managed to ask.

He seemed taken aback by the question, stepping back, his eyes going wide behind his glasses. "Of course."

"Then why can't we give _us_ a chance? A real chance? To be a family?" Her voice broke on the last and she hated the way she sounded so very small.

But this was it. The end of the road. The last chance. If he turned away from her now, she'd go back to her sad little apartment and her sad little life and learn to be happy there on her own.

He stepped closer.

She held her breath.

He took another step and his hand came up and lightly stroked her cheek. "Another chance?" And his voice was soft, slightly uncertain.

"I'd like that."

"I would too," he responded with.

"Now kiss!" she heard Annie shout from somewhere off to the side.

"Annie," she heard Del hiss. "You're not supposed to let them know we're here."

"Ki…" The rest of the word was muffled and a moment later there was a squeal and a crashing in the bushes.

"Well, I suppose we should do what she demands or we'll never hear the end of it," Richard said, his nose scrunching up just a bit as he spoke.

"I suppose you're right," Caroline responded with and couldn't help but smile as he bent down and pulled her up toward him, his lips coming down to meet hers.

"Finally!" Annie shouted. Richard and Caroline broke apart, foreheads touching briefly before inviting their wayward friends inside the cabin.

It was a new start and hopefully the beginning of their happily ever after.


End file.
